Behind Her Mask
by Basement Cat
Summary: Ivypool sheds the mask she hides behind and has a heart-to-heart talk with Hollyleaf about mistakes and regrets. This is set just before The Last Hope.


I wanted to make a short story in an attempt to flesh out more of Ivypool's character and how she interacts with Hollyleaf. Those two didn't get enough chapters with one another and I would have loved to have seen them interact more as both are quite similar to one another.

Oh! Disclaimer: Warriors Cats belongs to Erin Hunter! This story is purely fanon and takes place in an AU _The Last Hope_, I suppose.

Ivypool awoke from her dream in a fit of unrest. Last night had not been as rigorous as it usually was, but she was instructed to observe Hollowflight's training, while also under Brokenstar's scutinizing stare. Her insides were squirming with discomfort. She could risk her own safety, but the idea of training an innocent to cat to kill was like thorns imbedded in her pelt. Said pelt was also covered in scraps of feathers and moss. She shook them off and quickly licked her pelt of the objects. _At least it isn't blood from killing... _Her blood felt cold. A small queasy feeling was building in her stomach, but it was tolerable. _Why am I thinking about that _now_ of all times?_

Ivypool felt her legs begin to shake._ You have to calm down. _She told herself this in her head as she stretched out her aching muscles. Okay, maybe last night's training was tougher than she had thought_. Go join the dawn patrol or hunting if you can. _She flinched as she realized what she was doing_. Okay...stop talking to yourelf. _Ivypool visibly shuddered. _Great StarClan, am I finally going crazy?_

She groggily slinked outside of the apprentices den, careful not to wake Dovewing and Hollyleaf in her haste to leave. It felt...smothering in there with so many cats. The warriors den was probably worse._ Cherrypaw and Molepaw aren't taking up half the den, so they must have gone with Rosepetal and Foxleap. _She looked up at the sky and blanched. _The sun hasn't even risen yet!_

Ivypool scented the air with her nose. She caught whiff of Brambleclaw, Rosepetal, Sandstorm and Molepaw's scent. It wafted off towards the entrance to camp, which Spiderleg was currently watching. He didn't look happy to be there so early.

"Good morning, Ivypool," Bumblestripe called cheerfully to her as she padded over towards the freshkill pile on her way to the camp entrance. "Where's Dovewing?" _It figures he'd be over here, and of course, the _only_ cat awake. _

"Asleep." Ivypool bluntly replied. She was glad her sister was happy now and over Tigerheart, but StarClan's kits, this tom was annoying! _Don't get me involved please! _"I have to leave, I want to catch the dawn patrol." She quickly walked by the energetic tom and over to the gaurded camp entrance. _My belly's too queasy to eat anything and Jayfeather would definitely pick up something was wrong if I went to the medicine den. I'm on my own here._

"Tell Dovewing I'll be on the dusk patrol later on!"

Ivypool skidded to a hault in front of the entrance to camp where Spiderleg groggily stood on a rock. "Why are you leaving camp and where are you going?" Spiderleg grumbled.

"I'm going to catch up to Brambleclaw's morning patrol." she replied rather short-tempered. "Their scent is over this direction."_ What other direction would it be? It's the only way out of camp! _she privately thought to herself. _Stubborn cat._

"He's leading the hunting patrol, not the dawn patrol." Spiderleg replied with an edge to his voice.

_ Isn't it the same in the morning? _

"I guess I'll go hunting then." Ivypool did not like the skinny warrior that much, but he was a good warrior. She could tolerate him.

"You'd better hurry then before you lose their scent."

_He is right about that. _

She scented the air once again, catching whiff of the patrol. _They're not far off, I can still catch them!_

"I'll go with you."

Ivypool whipped back around and came forehead to nose with a disheveled Hollyleaf. She must have disturbed the dark warrior in her sleep. She didn't look very happy to be awake.

"I despise mornings." Hollyleaf hissed while vainly licking a tuft of stuck up fur on her shoulder.

"Why wake up so early then?" Ivypool respected the green-eyed warrior, but sometimes what she said made no sense.

"You stepped on my tail as you left the den which of course woke me up," Hollyleaf replied, "So I've decided to do something useful besides laying around camp. Besides, I want to catch some vole. There hasn't been a single one caught in two moons now."

Ivypool tilted her head in confusion. "What's the difference between a vole and other prey?" _Does it really matter?_

Hollyleaf gave Ivypool a scrutinizing stare. "There is an everything to voles. I do not want mice or minnows, I want a vole." She stopped and paused. "We should hurry before we lose their trail. Standing here discussing prey and other trivial matters will get us nowhere." Hollyleaf padded off at a moderately fast pace.

_Like I said, a weird cat. Minnows?_

"Makes sense," Ivypool lied as she followed behind the long legged warrior. _I wouldn't mind a sparrow myself..._

Suddenly, an idea popped into her head. "Why not just go on our own hunting trip?" she meowed. "We could catch some voles and sparrows in the woods by the ShadowClan border. Maybe a squirrel too!" Ivypool was really starting to like the idea.

"It isn't a bad idea," Hollyleaf mused in front of her. "However, we should still inform Brambleclaw of any unscheduled hunting patrols and change of plans. We're not far off, actually, and I even see-" Hollyleaf collided with a lump of brown and black fur that was blocking their way to Brambleclaw. As Ivypool looked around and struggled not to show her amusement, she realise the lump of fur _was _Brambleclaw. The black warrior quickly backed away from the deputy, fur burning in embarrassment.

"In hindsight, I shouldn't have been so careless..."

"Ivypool? Hollyleaf?" Brambleclaw looked surprised to see her and Hollyleaf. "This was unexpected."

A white face popped out of the nearby bushes, startling Ivypool. Cloudtail tended to do that a lot with cats. "I could scent them from camp. Are you here to join the hunting patrol?'

"Actually, we're here to get permission from Brambleclaw to go on an unscheduled hunting trip." Hollyleaf replied.

Brambleclaw looked thoughtful as he pondered their question. "As long as you catch something."

"We will." Ivypool meowed. She felt excitement building beneath her pelt. _A hunting trip is just what I need! _Both she and Hollyleaf nodded thanks to their deputy and sprinted off towards the oak woods of in the northeast of their territory. She could do for a sparrow. No, she could do for a distraction. Her thoughts began to darken as she thought about her dream. _No! I cannot think about this. It cannot be changed. I did what I had to do. I can't risk showing my emotions, especially around Hollyleaf. _That cat could stare down an owl and win_. She's too observant._

It was a little after the sun had risen that they arrived at their destination.

All the way there, Hollyleaf had possibly stepped on every single twig noticeable, not even sheathing her claws and catching leaves between them. Then again, she looked quiet deep in thought.

_So much for being observant._ "What are you doing!" Ivypool hissed quietly. "You'll wake every piece of prey in the forest! We can't exactly have that happen so close to Leafbare."

What? Huh?" Hollyleaf seemed to come out of a trance. "Sorry, I was thinking. It's not like me, I know."

Ivypool was exasperated. "You can't hunt when you think too much."

"Can you hunt and not think at all?" Hollyleaf retorted.

"Can you stop being a mousebrain?"

"Fair enough." Hollyleaf flattened her tail and crouched low to the ground, pricking her ears. She snaked skillfully through the tangled briars and brambles until she couldn't be seen. Ivypool stood there waiting with evened breathing, not twitching a single muscle. _If you're so determined to prove a point then prove it. _she thought to herself. _I'll just sit here and watch you and your stubbornness fail._

A small squeak was heard, a rustle of leaves, then silence. Ivypool watched rather wide-eyed as Hollyleaf quietly emerged from the maze of thorns with a dead vole in her jaws. She carefully set it on the ground and began to dig a hole.

"As you can clearly see, this is a vole, not a mouse brain." Hollyleaf quipped in an amused voice.

_Arrogant cat! _Ivypool thought to herself. Although she could admire the warrior's skill. "We'll have to move somewhere else. The prey has all been scared away from your 'thinking' - she exaggerated the word - save that one stupid vole."

"Nonsense. There is plenty of prey to find. You just to find it." Hollylef vainly tried to pull the leaves out of her claws, but to minimal success. She eventually decided to leave them be. She sat down on her haunches, slightly annoyed. "I need to stop tracking leaves."

Ivypool's belly suddenly reminded her of why she had left so early to go hunt. The queasy feeling in her belly had gotten worse. It was tolerable earlier, but now it was impossible to ignore. _Still, I have to. I have to remember his death was a neccessity. Otherwise, they'll kill me. I can't show remorse."_

"Actually, I don't really feel like hunting anymore, I'll just go head back to camp-"

She chanced to turn around and instantly regretted it. Hollyleaf was staring her down with her intense and sharp eyes.

"There's something wrong." Hollyleaf quietly meowed. "You're hiding something, and you're trying to distract yourself by occupying your paws with something to do."

Ivypool silently cursed to herself._ How can she pick up on all that just by watching me? Are Lionblaze and Jayfeather _sure _she doesn't have a power? I don't know what I'd have to do if she finds out I train in the dark forest! _

"What would make you say that nonsense," she replied as evenly as she could. She wasn't proud of it, but she was good at hiding her feelings.

"Is it a cat from another Clan?"

"What?" Ivypool was confused now._ She must be sensitive to the whole forbidden romance thing. _"No!" she honestly replied. "If you're going to accuse me, then at least have it make sense!"

"It must have been a murder then."

Ivypool's blood ran cold_. Th-there's no way. She can't have..how..._

A pause happened, then compete silence. "So you did kill a cat."

_Think fast!_

"It's against the warrior code to kill another cat in cold blood. Besides, why would I kill another cat?" Ivypool looked around over to where Hollyleaf was sitting - now standing by the buried vole. Her expression was unreadable, but her claws were unsheathed.

_Foxdung, she's going to kill me!_

"If you're going to fight me, you'll have to find a better reason." Ivypool replied slightly in a panicked voice.

Hollyleaf's voice was even and calm, but Ivypool could see her eyes widen in shock when asked if she was going to kill her. "I'm not going to kill you. I just want to know why."

"Then why are your claws unsheathed?" _I can't tell what she's thinking" This is bad, this is bad, this bad-_

"I have leaves stuck to my claws." Hollyleaf replied in annoyance. "Bothersome things, leaves. But onto my question. Why?"

"Isn't it a little hypocritical to claim I've killed when you indirectly killed Ashfur?" She switched the topic. Ivypool hoped that it would shock Hollyleaf enough to at least allow her to get enough distance between them if it did come to a fight. Both of them were very skilled. She just didn't know if she could win if it came to it. _Or win without k-killing...I couldn't..._

"I didn't indirectly kill him, I killed him with my own jaws. Brambleclaw told a lie to protect me from my Clan's wrath." As Ivypool stared in surprise at the dark warrior, she saw Hollyleaf turn away from her gaze."

Now it was Ivypool's turn to be shocked. "Why would you tell me this. M-more importantly, why would you lie to your Clan? You should trust that we would forgive you! Also, how do I not know that you're lying?!"

Hollyleaf continued on as if she hadn't heard her. "I was willing to forfeit my life and make things right again. But I realized something. Even if I had stopped Brambleclaw from defending me, even if I was forgiven, it wouldn't make things right. Ashfur is still dead. I am still a murderer. Nothing changes. I'd gain forgiveness over nothing!" Hollyleaf's tail lashed about in anguish, her eyes bright and wide with fear and loathing.

"I once tried to start over, and I lost _everything. _My Clan, my family. And it was I who destroyed them. I ruined my Clan, all because I was too selfish and arrogant to accept that I was the daughter Leafpool and Crowfeather. I deserve to die."

Ivypool genuinely didn't know what to say. "I...er.."

"But...even though I am not a good cat, I still want to live. I'll still fight, and I'll do everything it takes to redeem myself a little, even if it's impossible. Even though I'll be a murderer the rest of my life, even though I deserved to die, I will still have hope I can make things right! I'm going to _live_, not just for me, but for the life I have taken."

_She...she still wants to live, even though she's done so many evil things?_

"Why are you being so honest?" Ivypool inquired.

"Honesty is my greatest friend in this situation." Ivypool had never seen the proud she-cat so _broken _before. "Lies and and deceit lead to pain and suffering."

_Yes, yes it does. _Ivypool agreed_. Some suffering and pain you can't escape. _She thought of the dark forest, of Antpelt, of the cats that trained there, fooled into thinking they were becoming better and loyal warriors.

"What can you do when you can't escape those emotions?" Ivypool felt her voice crack. "When you have to put on a mask to keep from breaking yourself. What can you do?"

Hollyleaf looked uncertain. "Honestly, I don't know. All I can do is live on. I'll defy what I deserve, and keep my pride and skill as a warrior alive. I'll hold onto the hope I can be forgiven. It might just be my last."

_You might be strange, but you're wiser than any other cat I've met. And...you're right. I can't expect to die. Even if I deserve death for my actions and betrayal, I'll choose to live on. I'll fight for every moment of my happiness!_

Another darker, less welcomed thought entered her head. _If she trusts me enough to admit she killed Ashfur, I should do the same. It's the least I can do._

"Antpelt." she quietly muttered. "He was named Antpelt."

Hollyleaf tilted her head in confusion. "Antpelt? The WindClan warrior? What about him?"

"I killed him. He's gone forever." Ivypool admitted. "I...I had no choice."

She saw that the green eyed warrior looked shocked, but also with some understanding. Hollyleaf padded over to Ivypool, and gently laid her tail across Ivypool's shoulders. "You must never forgive yourself. You have to live on and carry their memory with you, otherwise they'll become forgotten. It is a task you must shoulder alone."

Hollyleaf's eyes were bright with some emotion Ivypool couldn't figure out. "You don't need to have regrets. You need to remember who you are, what you fight for, and what you've done. If you lose sight of yourself, then you lose what makes you who you are."

"I know." Ivypool simply stated. _Even though I am a murderer, I know I had to. I might not have regrets, but that doesn't mean I'm evil or cruel. I am Ivypool, and I will fight with all my will and strength for the Clans!_

A small gust of wind suddenly buffeted the two she-cat's fur. Both visibly shuddered.

"Can you sense it?" Hollyleaf meowed. Her face was furrowed in a frown. "The wind...it's so ominous."

Ivypool felt it too. It was a warning of the blood, death, and destruction that was inevitable in the Dark Forest's wake. So many cats...just how much damage would they cause? How many cats were going to die? Could the Clans...could they even win?

Hollyleaf's eyes were dark. "It feels like a lot of cats are going to die soon."


End file.
